Just For Laughs...

Can I please be back at this beach in Maui?  Yesterday was just one of those days! 

I woke up feeling AMAZING!  These days have been few and far between lately so I knew I had to take advantage!  I should start by mentioning that I live on a farm.  I'm fortunate that I live relatively close to a decent shopping town.  After a twenty mile drive, I have access to Wal-Mart, some grocery stores, and a few select clothing stores.  Lucky me!  Anyways, this twenty mile drive makes shopping trips a little bit of a process.  I try to cram all of my errands into one day so I don't have to make multiple trips in a week.

Welcome to the chaos of my life.  I start by getting myself and the girls all dressed up.  These days are rare for us so it's fun to dress up nice and have a girls day out on the town!  Then I feed the baby her bottle, pack the diaper bag (complete with warm water, diapers, formula, snacks, juice, wipes, blankets, burp rags, etc).  I have a bit of a problem with over-planning and always worry that I'll forget something.  I load the girls into the car, turn on "Tangled" for my toddler to watch on the drive, and we're off!

This usually goes without a hitch, but yesterday (as I mentioned) was just one of those days!  We've all had them.  The days where nothing goes right and it seems as if your head might not actually be attached to your body!  Yup, that was me!  The frazzled, POTSie, Mom with no brain and my head in the clouds!  I get all the way to town before I realize my wallet is back at home.  I have no credit cards, drivers license, or cash.  Ugh!  So, I call my amazing hubby who works in town and he agrees to get me some cash and meet me at the mall.  I'm a lucky lady to have him!  Wonderful!  I put the cash in my purse, do some shopping at the mall, and then we meet the hubby for lunch.

After lunch, I run to my least favorite place on the earth (Wal-Mart).  Nothing against shopping there, it's just always crowded, I always make 80 trips back and forth across the store trying to find the things I need, and then proceed to stand in line for an hour because only four of the twenty check-out lines are open.  I gather up all the necessities in life (formula, diapers, fingernail polish, just the basic things moms can't live without)!  It's finally my turn at the check-out and half-way through scanning my "necessities" I realize the cash my hubby so nicely brought to me is in my purse...in the car.  You have got to be kidding me!!!  Anyone with POTS (or any other chronic illness) can understand how this sent me into an absolute tailspin!  The angel of a checkout lady said it was no problem and she would hold the items for me.  I proceed to race out to the parking lot with my cart filled with two little girls and a car seat.  Just a little reminder, my heart races to about 120 beats per minute just by standing in place.  I can't even imagine how fast it was racing after sprinting to the parking lot and back with a cart full of kids!  Wow!  Just another "simple" shopping trip in the life of a POTSie!

That beach is looking better and better all the time!      

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."  Psalm 55:22

Amy

P.S.
   My current good-read: "A Week in Winter" by Maeve Binchy.  I'm only about half-way through it, but it's very enjoyable.  It's set in west Ireland and it's one of those books that follows about ten different characters.  Very enjoyable so far!

Hooray!!!!!

To say I'm excited would be the understatement of the century!  I got a call from Mayo Clinic this morning and I finally got my appointment!  I will be going to sunny Arizona in the middle of April!  Yay for sun!  The above picture is one I took in our yard a couple of winters ago.  It's a reminder of how sudden and severe North Dakota winters can be!  Usually, by April our temperatures are much more mild, but we can still get some extreme snow storms!  A break will be surely welcomed (even if it means days of medical tests)!

I'm not sure yet what kind of testing they have planned for me.  I'll know more once I get the packet in the mail.  The scheduling receptionist told me to plan on being there for the entire week so I think they'll be running me through the ringer!  Bring it on!  What are a few more pokes?  I just want answers!

So now I wait and plan and educate.  Waiting for appointments can be torturous!  In this case, it's probably just as well.  I'll need to plan for a place for my girls to stay for a week, book flights, find motels...  I also intend to keep educating.  I like going to these appointments armed with information and questions.  I normally have a list of conditions to discuss, medications to try, and tests to run.  We have to advocate for ourselves!  Why does healthcare have to be such a battle?!  I'm also going to start putting together a page filled with advice on how to have successful doctor appointments.  It will be a good reminder for me.  Lord knows I've had plenty of disappointing appointments!  There is no sure way to have a good appointment.  You can be completely prepared and still leave in tears, but there are ways to make them go smoother.  The worst feeling is leaving an appointment feeling like it would have gone better if only you had been more prepared!

In the mean time, I'll keep you updated on how I'm feeling.  Hopefully, I continue to do well!  I'll also fill you in once I know the types of tests they intend to run me through!

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  Psalm 118:24

Amy

P.S.
   My Potsie Pet Peeve of the day: Fixing my hair!  I'm half tempted to just chop it off!  Holding my hands above my head makes me extremely light-headed!  Look out G.I. Jane buzz cut, here I come!  Just kidding!  My head is too lumpy for that, but it would be nice!  :-)  

 

Ah Decisions...

Decisions, decisions... Life is full of them!  If you're a member of my family, you're not good at making them.  Deciding where to eat can be an hour long process filled with "I don't care" and "Whatever you want."  On a vacation to Charleston, SC we literally walked up and down a street for nearly an hour because no one would make the final call on which restaurant to try.  Needless to say, decision making is not something that comes easy to me.  I have a hard time being assertive and spend too much time worrying about the "what ifs".

I mentioned in my last post that my hubby was going to be spending an evening with a group of our college friends.  I so wanted to go but with my current health, I knew I would pay for it later.  Let the decision making begin.  Mental health versus physical health.  For once in my life, I can say this wasn't a very hard decision.  Mental health won!  If I didn't get out of our house soon, I was going to lose my mind!  I didn't stay out late and was only out of the house for a couple of hours but it made all the difference.  Yesterday, I felt like a truck had hit me.  I was so exhausted I could hardly keep my eyes open, but my heart was happy!  Sometimes, it's completely worth going through a little physical misery just to heal the heart.

If you live with a chronic illness, you understand the battle between mental health versus physical health.  It is a constant one.  Trying to find a balance between feeling well and actually living your life is exasperating to say the least.  Most of the time, I choose my physical health.  Life is much easier if I stick to my routine.  It is crucial that I keep myself feeling well enough to care for my two young daughters.  However, every once in a while it is necessary to chance feeling like crap so that I don't go stir crazy!  I love my girls and I like to think I'm a pretty good mom, but even I can only take cartoons, potty training, bottle making, and poopy diaper changing for so long!

So today, I'm still tired but also so refreshed!  I'm exhausted but have a new energy for life.  I think I made the right decision!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Amy