Rollercoaster of Emotions...

Apparently my body didn't get the memo about me being a princess.  This week has been miserable and it's my birthday week.  Yes, I take an entire week for my birthday.  I am a princess after all!  Some of it is probably my fault.  I did clean and scrub cupboards yesterday.  As an almost 27 year old, I feel I should be able to do tasks like these.  As a POTSie, I should know better.  As a result, I was awake most of the night with head pressure, vertigo, tachycardia, and some intense burning in my stomach.  These days it seems if my POTS acts up, so does my stomach.  On a positive note, my blood pressure was nearly perfect!  Hooray for that!

Enter emotions... I'm excited and terrified for this trip to Mayo.  I'm excited at the thought of getting answers and hopefully help.  I'm terrified of what the answers might be or worse that I still won't have answers.  I'm trying to prepare myself for all of the possibilities.  I know there isn't going to be a magic pill that makes me feel like a new person over night.  I'm terrified of what diagnoses I might get.  I know that's silly, but for some reason putting a label on the issue makes it that much more real.  I'm even more terrified that I'll hear those dreaded words, "Everything looks fine."  I doubt that will happen, but I've heard those words too many times.  I think it's a weird experience for doctors when they give a patient what they view as good news and that patient bursts into tears.  How can every test look fine when I feel so close to death?

OK, time to push those nasty thoughts back into the dark hole where they belong.  I'm finally getting the help I so desperately need!  Plus a little trip with my husband!  And, it's my birthday week!  Another year older, another year bolder!  What a year it was!  This time last year, I was announcing to the world that I was having another baby!  Life does not get any better than that moment when you first hold your child!  It sometimes amazes me when I think of how quickly life can change.  I went from that amazing moment when my daughter was born in September, to honestly feeling like my body was shutting down in December.  I spent Christmas Day praying and wondering if I would have to get a feeding tube.  I hadn't been able to eat any solid food for weeks.  I've come so far since that day.  I have major setbacks (like this week), but it's still nowhere near where I was Christmas Day.  I'm extremely hopeful that with some help, my body will get back to "my normal" in no time!  Maybe I'll even feel better than I've felt in years.  A girl can dream right?!  This next year is going to be a good one.  I have so many things to look forward to and I can't wait to see what 27 has in store for me!  Hopefully more ups than downs! 

"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."  Romans 10:13

Amy